The Approach from Behind

Perfect for those unfortunate enough to have a bum knee, a sore back, or an ugly girlfriend.

Tuck up nice and tight behind your slumbering lady and lightly stroke her thighs and belly while nuzzling her neck and shoulders-she's sure to erupt goose bumps and snuggle back into you like a love-starved child.

But be sure that she's good to go before you make your move or else you run the risk of a night on the couch.

Once things are moving, keep tabs on your flailing legs to avoid nasty friction burns courtesy of your cheap nylon sheets.